Monday, March 18, 2013

3 Fears

30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me
(Topic #2- what are 3 fears you have and how did they become fears?)

I honestly don't really know where to start with this one. None of my fears are reallyso big that I let them eat me alive.

#1My biggest most legit fear would be losing my kids or husband before I think it's their time.In my perfect world I would never have to outlive my children. God willing I'd somehowfind the strength to live but not a day would go by that I didn't think of them/cry for them. As far as losing my husband goes....well...I'm not sure my kids would be able to pull me out of bed ever again.Stephen (daddy) and I have had such an insane chemistry since the day we started talking.I knew that Stephenwas who I was going to marry when we first starting seeing each other. We dated for about 7 months when I ended things after a confusing missions trip. The 7-8 months we were split up and not in any form of contactwere the most challenging times I'd ever dealt with in my life. This is when I really hit an all time low and knew that I clearly was grieving from the loss of someone I justcouldn't live without.My kids and my husband are what keep me going...they are what make me ME. 

As for 2nd and 3rd fears....they are just silly little things!

#2SURGERIES!I know what you are thinking..."but she's had a c-section before and her tonsils removed!"Yes I've been through it before and most likely going through it again with Judah...but it's never somethingthat becomes "fun" or "easy". My recovery with Malachi was SO rough that I'm terrified to go throughall that again. The spinal tap was one of the most painful things about delivery, next wouldbe the coughing/sneezing or trying to get out of bed with a fresh incision, and then there's the fact that ittook me a whole YEAR to fully recover from Malachi. So no...I'm not looking forward to another surgery...just the precious baby that'll come out of it.
#3Snakes and Sharks.I am SO fascinated by tv shows about snakes/sharks but NEVER want to actually run into one.The closest I've come to a snake are other peoples pet snakes. So basicallyjust corn snakes which aren't that intimidating.I remember mine and dad's first trip to Hawaii where we went snorkeling in a so called "low key" far as sharks went. Just in case though the guy at the surf shop told us what NOT to do or TO do in case we ran into one:don't pee in the water..they like itif the shark starts to come after you...don't try to swim away. Face the shark and flip your fins up to let them know you are "just as big" and not going to be an easy fight.basically don't freak out and act like a blubbering idiot.Stay in control and let survival mode kick in if it comes down to la la la off dad and I go to the suggested spot and sure enough about 30 minutes into our snorkeling adventure of swimming with sea turtles and tropical fishI notice a shark directly below us swimming back out to sea.Thankfully it looked like a young harmless (HOPEFULLY!) tiger sharkthat wasn't more than 6 feet long and about as wide as me.When I got back to shore my adrenaline was rushing from how exciting that had been butI also noticed three things.#1 we were swimming with sea turtles ( a favorite shark snack)#2 we were swimming along a reef jetty (a favorite place for sharks to find fish to eat)#3 there was a local who was spear fishing just around the other side of the jetty passing us frequently to get to shore(fish blood trails)were were in the right place at the right time apparently =]
All in all...I think I'm still more terrified of snakes than sharks...I would go swimming in a tropical place a million more times before ever putting myself in asnake environment.


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